the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
