so that wasnt chicken after all
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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