If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
