so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think my moral compass just broke
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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