If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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