i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
