You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
