i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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