Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
