I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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