If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
