i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize