Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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