I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
