How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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