You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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