i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
