y did u give ur computer a hand job?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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