sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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