If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
