I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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