If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
