i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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