My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
