Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
