too bad you live with your parents still
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
