4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can't talk, ducks in the car
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Holy shit dude........stairs
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