just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
