hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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