I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
