I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
