i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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