My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
