ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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