Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
