I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
