whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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