An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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