Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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