Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i've created a new STD.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
