If that was your dad, he is hot
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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