Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize