So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
