I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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