Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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