You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
