I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
