Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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