And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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