New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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