a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
