I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
