awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
