So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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