Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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